Breathe

Breathe

It's a simple word. An involuntary action that our bodies do to keep us going.

Yet, so often we control what our breathing sounds like. What our breathing feels like. How our breathing works.

For example, imagine walking into a high school boys' locker room. Are you holding your breath? Trying to take little breaths through your mouth? Are you plugging your nose?

Or, imagine walking through a field of flowers. Are you breathing freely? Have you bent over a specific flower to deeply inhale its fragrance. 

Maybe your imagination can take you to a calm, restful place. Here, your breathing will likely slow. You might even take a few deep breaths, just because you can. 

Whereas if you imagine yourself in a theme park in line for the big, crazy roller coaster, your breathing is likely going to quicken. With excitement or dread is up to you (I'm definitely going with dread over here). 

Funny. It's involuntary, right? If you try to stop yourself from breathing, eventually your body will resume control and force you to take a breath. You won't be able to help yourself. Because your body knows it needs air, no matter how it smells (remember that gym locker?).

But, we control our breathing in so many situations. How we are feeling, what we are experiencing, what the air smells like, all of that will impact how and when we breathe. 

So, what is this big long thing about breathing about?

Well, it's about me.

This past year was one of the hardest I've ever experienced. Stress, anxiety, depression, challenges, sickness, and more. It seemed I was constantly drowning, constantly unable to breathe the way I needed to. Attempts to be more calm were thwarted relentlessly until in late December I hit a breaking point. Hours of tears and a lot of soul-searching, pouring out my heart in prayer, trying to explain to Prince Charming all that I had been feeling and doing. Finding some solutions and recognizing that certain things are just going to take time.

Each year I pick a word to focus my year around, more or less successfully. This year, the choice seemed obvious. It's time for me to learn to breathe freely again. 

Learn to breathe in the small wins and successes.

Learn to breathe out the disappointments and small losses.

Learn to breathe with freedom, even when life gets challenging and difficult, because it definitely will.

This year, as I learn to breathe, I hope to share some of my experiences and lessons learned from being more mindful not only of the physical way I breathe, but the mental and spiritual ways I breathe. 

So take a breath.

Come breathe with me.